i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
