between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
