he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
