I CAN MOONWALK!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
