there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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