We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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