I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
