i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
