So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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