You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
