You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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