If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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