Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
