i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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