so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
