I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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