Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How's work?
Spinning.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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