I wanna bring you to show and tell
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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