The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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