WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
