The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I intend to get homeless drunk
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
