god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
