Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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