i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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