You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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