why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize