After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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