Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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