i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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