Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
operation harelip BJ is a go
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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