found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
