Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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