Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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