that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
