Quick, to the slutcave!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this will be a night to untag.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
