Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
