awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
