i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
All the doctor said was why
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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