dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
