Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
