Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
