The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
