i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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