Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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