I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
