do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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