honey bunches of taint.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
