It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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