plz talk dirty to me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
