i permit you to call me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
