Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
