then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the day after is always just damage control
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize