forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize