you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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