She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
