Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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