Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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