this boner is exhausting
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
