A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize