he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
