I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
