She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
