Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
